jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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