im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
