just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Randomize
