did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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