i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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