I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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