i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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