i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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