I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
