the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
It's like God shit irony all over that family
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
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my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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