Duck Duck Cougar?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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