Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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