Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
