dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
