brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
