yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
