the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize