That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
