I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
