The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
