Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
