If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
The air taste purple.
Randomize