Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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