is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
