I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
