found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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