I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
