Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
