Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
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the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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