Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
