i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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