i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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