I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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