This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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