piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
