we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
