period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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