Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
