can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
