Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
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dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
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What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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