the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
