youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
