I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Actions speak louder than pants.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
