i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
