I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Randomize
