I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
did i walk over a car last night?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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