I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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