My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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