Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just want to make out with him forever
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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