Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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