I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
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Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
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Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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