Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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