YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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