she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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