I could make wine with my vomit
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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