Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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