I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
