He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
