I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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