I must be too annoying 4 u.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
